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Planning a lesbian bachelorette party: the short answer
The first decisions for the celebration.
- First decision
- Joint or separateOne party for the couple, or one each. Ask each of them on her own
- The guest list
- Plan it earlyCombined friend groups can make a larger party, which changes the location and the reservations
- Who pays
- The guestsIn a joint party, both shares are split across everyone else
- Who organizes
- One from each sideSplit the guest list, bookings and money before any deposit
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Lesbian bachelorette party ideas: nightlife and entertainment
Fun activities for a night out with the couple.
A bar crawl
Plan a route through LGBTQ+ friendly bars, including a lesbian bar if the city has one.
Karaoke
A private room where the couple picks the first songs.
A drag or comedy show
A drag king show, a queer comedy night or a cabaret.
A dance party
A night out dancing, or a dance class before dinner.
A burlesque or dance workshop
A class for the group, then the show.
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Adventure, wellness and creative ideas
Daytime ideas for couples who want something different.
A boat party
A chartered boat on a lake or the coast, with a licensed captain.
A spa or wellness weekend
Massages, yoga and a pool day for a relaxed celebration.
A camping or cabin trip
A cabin, a campfire and a hike with close friends.
A Pride festival or music festival
Time the trip with a festival the brides love.
A cooking or cocktail class
Learn something together and eat or drink what you made.
Pottery or an art project
A creative afternoon with a keepsake for the couple.
04
Themed party ideas and colors
A theme gives the decorations, outfits and playlist one direction.
Pride colors
Rainbow balloons, a rainbow cake and bright outfits.
Two-tone
Each of the couple picks a color, and the guests wear one or the other.
Disco
Silver, sequins, a mirror ball and a dance floor playlist.
Cowgirl or western
Boots, hats and a line dancing lesson.
Tropical
Florals, a pool day and fruity cocktails.
Their love story
The places they met, traveled or got engaged, as the theme for each part of the day.
05
Hosting at home and low-key experiences
For a couple who would rather keep it small.
A dinner party
A private chef or a potluck at a friend's home.
A game night
Couples trivia, a how well do you know them quiz and board games.
A movie marathon
Their favorite films with snacks and blankets.
A crafting night
Custom tote bags, candles or friendship bracelets.
Include family and significant others
An evening event where partners, family members and friends can join.
06
LGBTQ+ community events and culture
Ways to connect the celebration with queer culture.
Pride events
Plan the dates around a Pride parade or festival in the chosen city.
Queer-owned businesses
Book a bar, restaurant or class run by LGBTQ+ owners where you can.
A drag or cabaret show
Local performers and a night out the whole group can enjoy.
A lesbian bar
Visit one of the lesbian bars in the city, if there is one.
Hen party, stag and joint parties
In the UK the same celebration is called a hen party, and a couple can combine it with a stag do.
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Destinations for a lesbian bachelorette party
Cities with guides on this site, with costs, places and local rules.
Palm Springs
A pool weekend in the desert. See the Palm Springs guide.
New Orleans
Live music, food and a walkable night out. See the New Orleans guide.
San Francisco
Neighborhoods, food and a city weekend. See the San Francisco guide.
Las Vegas
Shows, pools and big hotels. See the Las Vegas guide.
Somewhere close to home
A rental near the couple's friends and family saves travel for everyone.
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A joint lesbian bachelorette party against two parties
One weekend for everyone, or a party for each bride. Ask both brides before planning.
| One joint party | Two separate parties | |
|---|---|---|
| Best when | The brides share a friend circle | Their friend groups are separate |
| Group size | Both guest lists together | Each bride's own guests |
| Destinations | A city with rentals and restaurants that take a large group | Any of the forty-seven |
| Covering the brides | Both brides' shares split across all guests | One bride's share at each party |
| Who organizes | One friend from each side, with jobs split | One organizer for each party |
| The risk | Two groups that do not mix | Guests invited to both paying for two trips |
| The upside | One celebration and one set of photos | Each bride gets the party her friends plan |
If it is unclear, ask each bride separately, and remember two parties can end with a night out together.
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Decorations, shirts, invitations and favors
Details that celebrate the couple.
Invitations
Both names, the dates, the per head cost and the plan, with a design the couple loves.
Decorations
Rainbow or two-color balloons, a Mrs. and Mrs. banner, and photos of the couple.
Shirts
Matching shirts or hats, custom designed for each side or one for the whole crew.
Themes
A Pride theme, a disco night, a cowgirl weekend, or the couple's favorite movie.
Gifts and favors
Something for the couple, and small favors such as sunglasses, a koozie or a candle for guests.
10
How to plan a lesbian bachelorette party
The brides, the guest list, the budget and an inclusive celebration.
A lesbian bachelorette party is a celebration for a bride or two brides before the wedding, with the same fun as any bachelorette party. The key decision is whether the brides want one joint party or separate parties, and that answer shapes the guest list, the destination and the budget.
Ask the couple first
Ask each of them separately what she wants: a joint party, her own party, or both. Some couples prefer a joint bachelor and bachelorette party with all their friends.
Create a guest list that includes everyone
Invite people who love and support the couple. With combined friend groups, consider how everyone will mix, and plan an early activity or game so guests who have not met can get to know each other.
Budget for the couple
In a joint party, the group splits both shares, so each guest's extra cost is lower than paying for each bride separately. Put the full per head number in the first message; see who pays for the bachelorette party for how to split costs.
Food and drinks
Plan a group dinner, a brunch and snacks at the rental, with options for dietary restrictions and for guests who do not drink.
A safe and inclusive celebration
Choose bars, restaurants and rentals where the whole group will feel welcome, read reviews from LGBTQ+ travelers, and ask the brides about any places they would rather avoid. More ideas are on the bachelorette party ideas page.
Ask both brides, then plan the party they want.
The planning ruleTwo brides
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Lesbian bachelorette party, answered
Questions about planning a celebration for two brides.
What is a lesbian bachelorette party?
A bachelorette party for a bride marrying a woman. Sometimes it is one joint party for both brides, sometimes a party for each.
Ask the brides what they want.
Should there be one lesbian bachelorette party or two?
One if the brides share a friend group, two if their circles are separate.
Ask each bride on her own.
Who pays for a lesbian bachelorette party?
The guests, who split the cost of covering the bride or both brides.
Share the full per head cost early.
What are good lesbian bachelorette party ideas?
A bar crawl, karaoke, a drag or comedy show, a boat party, a spa weekend, a camping trip or a cooking class.
Mix a night out with a daytime activity.
Where should a lesbian bachelorette party go?
Palm Springs, New Orleans, San Francisco or Las Vegas, or a rental close to home.
Check each city guide for costs and rules.
What decorations work for two brides?
A Mrs. and Mrs. banner, rainbow or two-color balloons and photos of the couple.
Personalize with both names.
Who plans a joint lesbian bachelorette party?
One friend from each bride's side, with the guest list, bookings and money split.
Name one person to decide on the day.
What are low-key lesbian bachelorette party ideas?
A dinner party at home, a game night, a movie marathon, a spa day or a crafting night.
Include partners and family if the couple wants.
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What to read next
The cities that take a large group, the money the whole thing sits inside, and the planning that does not change.
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Where this planning advice comes from
Editorial advice for couples and their friends.
What this page is
The ideas, the joint or separate table and the planning steps are Revelwick's editorial suggestions, not the results of a survey. City costs, places and rules are on each city's own guide.