What to bring to a bridal shower is a short list. A gift and a card.

What to bring to a bridal shower is one of the shortest answers in wedding etiquette: a gift and a card. The invitation will tell you if there is anything else, and if it does not, there is not. The only real mistakes are bringing a second gift for the wedding, bringing somebody who was not invited, and bringing food to a shower that did not ask for it.

The gift, from the registry

Buy from the registry if there is one, because the registry is the couple telling you what they need. Fifty to seventy-five dollars is a sensible guide, and the amount tracks how close you are to the bride rather than how expensive the shower looks.

A shower gift is separate from the wedding gift, so budget for both from the start. If money is tight, a smaller registry item plus a thoughtful card is better than stretching, and nobody at the shower is keeping score.

The card, which gets read out loud

Bring a card with the gift and write two sentences in it: a warm first line and a specific second one. Cards at a shower are usually opened with the gifts and often read to the room, which is why a short card beats a long one.

Tape the note to the present or put it inside the bag, so the two do not get separated during the unwrapping. The person writing down who gave what will thank you.

A gift receipt, quietly

Put a gift receipt inside the box or the card. It makes a duplicate or a wrong size painless to swap, and it is the single most useful thing a guest can add that nobody asks for.

The things an invitation might ask you to bring

A recipe card, for a kitchen or recipe themed shower. A book with a note inside, for a stock the library shower. A piece of advice or a date night idea on a card. Occasionally lingerie in the bride's size, for a lingerie shower with close friends, in which case the size will be on the invitation.

If the shower is a potluck, the invitation will say so and usually tell you what kind of dish. If it does not say, do not bring food, since the host has planned the menu and a surprise dish creates a problem rather than solving one.

Is cash appropriate at a bridal shower?

Cash or a check in a card is appropriate when the couple has a cash fund on the registry, or when the bride's family has let guests know it would help. Without either, bridal shower etiquette leans toward a wrapped gift, since the gifts are opened in front of the room and an envelope has less to show.

If you choose cash anyway, put it inside a card with a sentence about what it is for, the honeymoon dinner or the first piece of furniture. That gives the bride something to read out and share with the room.

Bringing a bottle of wine or flowers

A bottle of wine is a lovely extra for the host rather than a gift for the bride, and it belongs in the kitchen, handed over quietly, not on the gift table. It is a thank you for hosting, which is always appropriate, and it does not replace the shower gift.

Floral arrangements are the one extra to check first. If you are close to the host and want to help, ask a week ahead whether she would like flowers for the table, and bring them already in a vase.

What the bridal party and family bring

The bridal party may bring more than a gift when they are helping host: a dish, the games, a stack of pens, a phone charged for photos. If you are a bridesmaid, ask the host what she needs you to bring, and arrive early enough to set it out.

Family members bring the same gift and card as everybody else, and sometimes something special: a family recipe card, a piece of heirloom jewelry for the bride's something old, or a photo album from her childhood. Those are the gifts that make the room go quiet.

Attire, since it is the other question

Shower attire is daytime and a step up from casual: a dress, a skirt or smart trousers, and nothing white, which belongs to the bride. This site's page on what to wear to a bridal shower goes through it by venue.

Bridal shower etiquette for guests: the dos and don'ts

Do reply to the invitation by the RSVP date, arrive on time for the gift opening, shop the registry early, and include a gift receipt. Do write a short, heartfelt message and sign both names if you are a couple. Do follow the theme or dress code if there is one, and offer the host help with setup or cleanup if you are close to the bride.

Don't bring an uninvited guest, don't open the conversation about the wedding guest list, and don't post photos of the bride on social media before she has shared her own. Don't expect a party favor, and don't leave before the gifts are opened unless you let the host know in advance.

If you are invited to more than one shower

Some brides have more than one shower, one for family, one for work friends or one hosted in each hometown. You only need to bring a present to the first of the showers you attend. At the others, a card and your company are enough.

What not to bring to a bridal shower

A partner or children who were not named on the invitation. A second gift meant for the wedding, which is easier to give at the wedding itself or send to the couple. A large gift that has to be carried in, when the registry allows shipping to the couple's address instead.

And flowers, unless you are close to the host and ask first. The host has decorated the table and a bunch of flowers hands her a job to do in the first ten minutes.

What to bring to a couples shower or a virtual one

A couples shower is the same list, with the gift chosen for both of them. A virtual shower is a gift shipped to the couple before the call, a card or a message ready to read out, and anything the host sent for the call itself, such as a drink or a recipe.

In every version the principle holds: the gift and the card, plus exactly what was asked for.