01
Bridal shower vs bachelorette party, in four lines
The key differences for the bride and everyone planning the events.
- Who comes
- Wide, then narrowA wide guest list for the shower, a smaller group for the bachelorette
- Who pays
- OppositeThe host pays for the shower; each guest pays for the bachelorette
- Gifts
- Shower onlyA present at the shower; being there is the contribution at the other event
- Cost to a guest
- $75, or moreA shower gift against about $1,060 a head for a two night trip, as Revelwick estimates
02
The bridal shower and the bachelorette party, side by side
The key differences between the two events.
| Bridal shower | Bachelorette party | |
|---|---|---|
| Purpose | Celebrating the bride with presents for the new home and marriage | A last fun trip or night out with close friends before the wedding |
| Who is invited | Typically include the women in the family, friends, both mothers and the bridal party | The bride's inner circle and bridal party |
| Typical size | About eighteen | About nine |
| Length | Two or three hours | A night out or a weekend |
| Activities | Food, games and opening gifts | Dinner, drinks, nightlife or booked activities |
| Where | A home, a restaurant or a private room | Locally or in another city |
| Who plans | The maid of honor, the bridal party or family | The maid of honor and the bridal party |
| Who pays | The hosts | Each guest pays her share |
| Gifts | One present, usually from the registry | Not expected |
| Cost to a guest | A gift, about $75 | $740 to $1,690 for a trip, depending on the city |
| When | One to three months before the wedding | One to three months before the wedding |
The two parties honor the same bride, but the money rules are opposite: at showers the host pays and each woman brings a present, while at bachelorette parties everyone pays her own way. Figures are Revelwick estimates.
03
What is a bridal shower?
A daytime gathering to celebrate the bride and help the couple start married life.
Guests
The women in the family, friends, both mothers and the bridal party, or both partners at a wedding shower.
Who hosts
Traditionally the maid of honor, the bridesmaids or a family member.
What happens
Brunch or lunch, a few games and opening gifts.
Where
A home, a restaurant or a private room.
Invitations
Keep the guest list to people coming to the wedding.
04
What is a bachelorette party?
A fun celebration with the bride's inner circle before the wedding.
Guests
Typically a smaller group from the shower guest list.
Who plans
The maid of honor with the bridal party.
What happens
A night out, a spa day, a boat, dinner or a weekend trip.
Where
Locally or in a destination city.
Who pays
Everyone splits the costs and covers the bride's share.
05
Planning bridal showers and bachelorette parties
Timing, guest lists and whether to combine them.
The difference between a bridal shower and a bachelorette party comes down to who is invited, who pays and what happens. A shower is a hosted daytime event with family and friends and gifts for the bride; a bachelorette party is a night out or trip with the bride's inner circle, paid by each woman.
Timing
Both usually take place one to three months before the wedding. Leave a few weeks between them so the same people are not asked to travel and spend twice in a short time.
Guest lists
The bachelorette guest list is typically a smaller group from the shower list. Anyone asked to either event should be on the wedding list.
Combining them
Some brides combine the two into one weekend or one day, with a shower-style brunch and a night out after. Tell everyone clearly which parts involve a present and which involve paying a share.
Related events
Bridal showers and bachelorette parties are two of several events before a wedding, alongside the engagement party and the rehearsal dinner. Planning both parties around the bride's wishes, and the budget of the guest list, keeps each event memorable.
A gift at the shower, a share at the bachelorette, and the numbers said early.
The ruleBoth events
06
Bridal shower vs bachelorette party, answered
What the bridal party asks when planning both.
What is the difference between a bridal shower and a bachelorette party?
A shower is a hosted event with family and friends and gifts; a bachelorette party is a night out or trip with the bride's inner circle, paid by each woman.
The money rules are opposite.
Do you bring a gift to both?
A gift to the shower. A gift is not expected at the bachelorette.
Paying your share is the contribution.
Who is invited to each?
Family and friends to the shower; the bride's inner circle to the bachelorette.
Keep both lists inside the wedding list.
Which comes first?
Either can, and both usually fall one to three months before the wedding.
Leave a few weeks between them.
Who pays for a bridal shower and a bachelorette party?
The hosts pay for the shower; guests split the bachelorette and cover the bride.
About $340 to host a shower, as a Revelwick estimate.
Can you combine them?
Yes, with a shower-style brunch and a night out, if guests know what they are paying for.
Keep the gift and the share separate.
07
What to read next
The other comparison people ask about, who pays for the shower, and the gift question in full.
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Where this comes from
The costs are Revelwick estimates. The etiquette is editorial.
What the figures are
The $75 gift, the $340 hosting cost and the trip figures are Revelwick editorial estimates, and the trip range comes from the city estimates on this site.
What is ours
The advice to keep the gift and the share separate, and to leave a few weeks between the events, is Revelwick's editorial judgment.